But seriously, what or who am I working for? Is it so that I can have good news to report to you? Maybe so. I won't deny you've been a great motivation then, but now, just to maintain my results, I'm slaving away, studying. I've lost my direction, and half my life. Sometimes I still don't know why I'm still in this course giving myself unnecessary stress. I could be out there doing some other course I prefer. Because now, there's no motivation to work towards anymore. Nobody to spur me on, nobody stressing me out for the results but myself. Why so? So I can save my image? What image, if any, at all?
Wanting to be the youngest (female) graduate was never my intention. But I just needed some proper reason so I'd study. Why can't the reason just be me doing it for myself? Why is it always for someone else? I just don't understand why.
So I'd just end up upset over this for a day or two, maybe longer. I hope it'd go away soon.
Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve anything at all.